Dana Stoddard brought an excerpt from Puritan William Gurnall’s classic book The Christian in Complete Armour to our Band of Brothers meeting a few months ago. I related whole-heartedly to the following excerpt because it speaks directly to the lie Satan feeds us when it comes to pornography and sexual addiction.

“When the Spirit convicts you of sin, Satan will try to convince you, ‘It is such a little one–spare it.’ Or he will bribe the soul with a vow of secrecy: ‘You can keep me and your good reputation, too. I will not be seen in your company to shame you among your neighbors. You may shut me up in the attic of your heart, out of sight, if only you will let me now and then have the wild embraces of your thoughts and affections in secret.’ “

I wrestled for almost 30 years with my secret sin and am thankful that God loved me enough to expose my heart that was whoring after safer lovers. I believed two main lies…1)that I was the only Christian man who was struggling in this area, and 2)that I could eventually beat this secret sin on my own and no one would know the difference. My reputation could escape unscathed.

There is no way to defeat pornography and sexual sin alone. The enemy of our souls convinces us that it isn’t a big deal and then, when we give in, is relentless with his scathing rebuke that leads to deep shame. If you have been believing the lies and feel trapped in the sin cycle, there is help available. As scary as it might seem to step into the light with your secrets, it is the only way that leads to healing. If you need someone safe to talk to, I’d be happy to talk. As a fellow struggler, I will bring grace and love and not judgement and condemnation.

If you are interested in getting your own copy of Grunall’s book, I have provided a link below.

What are your secret sins? Do you have genuine community in your life where people know you warts and all?

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  1. JasonWert 8 years ago

    "There is no way to defeat pornography and sexual sin alone." Unfortunately, sometimes I've seen groups of men who are "fighting" this who really aren't trying to defeat it but manage it. I'm sorry…but you can't be fighting porn if you have a computer with no blocking and/or accountability software on it, for example. It's like giving an alcoholic a liquor cabinet. You have to be transparent, accountable and actionable and willing to let others speak into your life. I have guys who keep me in check but unfortunately none of them live close to where I am now. I'm working on developing those kinds of relationships locally.

    • Traylor Lovvorn 8 years ago

      Great perspective, Jason. You are absolutely right that trying to deal with sexual sin without proper boundaries in place is futile to say the least. We can't have true accountability until we have genuine community. Enter text right here!

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